Dear Readers,

This blog is inspired by my own personal experience as well as the many people I am blessed to encounter like family, friends, clients, patients, peers or strangers. I hope to share many thoughts, encouraging words and knowledge as you walk through your journey in life.

-TJ

Survival Mode & the Overflowing Cup

All too often we are stressed out, overwhelmed, and finding ourselves tired. Yet, we keep going. Drudging through our day to day activities ignoring the symptoms of ignored issues. This is survival mode.

In order to keep going, maintain the roof over our heads and food in our family’s bellies, we push down the problems. We ignore them and minimize them until we believe there is no actual problem. And because we are still functioning (which could be that we still get up and haven’t completely fallen apart) we think we are doing the right thing and we are ok. All the while, the body, mind, and spirit knows better. It’s like we are a huge cup of water about to overflow with the addition of the very last drop. After that last drop, or several, we break down in tears, have shouting matches with family or friends, give the bird to the guy in the car next to us, miss deadlines, call out, or visit the doctor’s office with an unexplained illness.

The doctor then recommends rest, exercise, healthy eating and suggests that it’s just a virus or stress! Stress, we think, but I'm fine...it must be a virus! and then we think about all that we aren’t thinking or talking about.

As a therapist, a friend, a sister, daughter, and partner I can say I have experienced it and witnessed it time and time again. As human beings we have the capacity to endure a lot! But we don't have to endure it alone and in silence.

It has been proven that sleep, exercise and healthy eating are cornerstones to self-care and wellbeing. It is also true, that talking about the problem with someone is remarkably cathartic. The mental release is like emptying your cup allowing more room for the new things to come. Talking about it, is not dwelling or at least it does not need to be. Instead, talking can release, inspire insight, heal, and motivate.

Survivor mode is an important tool we all have, but in order to live a quality life we have to use other tools as well. Talk to someone today even if you think its small, that small thing has the power to overwhelm and overflow! 

-TJ

12/12/2017

It is human nature and our instinct to avoid pain; however, we are often doing the very thing that exacerbates our pain. In avoidance of pain we try to keep things the same, avoid the problem, deny the problem, stuff it deep down inside in hopes that it will go away. In doing this we not only perpetuate the problem, we are contradicting the very purpose of our defense mechanism.

But what if we were BOLD, accepting that we are afraid of pain but desire to be and FEEL BETTER even more than our FEAR! Embracing change is not easy but often what is most important is not easy, not often acceptable, or even pleasing at first glance. At second glance, looking at the BIG picture, conflict and pain is what propels our life forward because it forces us to change and ultimately grow. Without it, we would stay where we are and have no opportunity for BETTER. Maintaining the STATUS QUO is a natural and normal instinct, AND it is also truly rewarding when we push forward to CHANGE the status quo and embrace NEW LIFE.

What steps will you take today to experience NEW LIFE? 

-TJ